Thursday, November 23, 2006

What will you choose?

Life as a couple is never easy, facing decisions make life better for the family (especially when there are children in the family, as Canada law stated that children below the age of 13 must not be left at home alone) and with the increasing expensive childcare cost; Increasing number of Canadian parents are choosing either of these options:

Option 1: One parent works the night shift and the other works the day shift
Option 2: One parent stays home and the other goes to work (usually the one with the higher pay)

In my view, this is how I see it,

Option 1

Pro: Cut cost on sending children to childcare, children get to spend time with parents, dual income (more money for expenses) Con: Couple relationship usually drift apart since they dont have much time for their relationship (seeing less of each other, one's in and the others's out and vice versa), Can take a tow on health for the partner who's working night shift and might have a negative effect on their social life

Option 2

Pro: Cut cost on sending children to childcare, children get to spend more time with one parent (better bonding?) Con: Reduce in income (stressful for the one bring home the bacon?)

what will you choose?

Cheerios and keep smiling!
With Love from PoohBear

Wednesday, November 15, 2006

My Hatchday, first in many ways

Recently, I celebrated yet another of my "Hatchday" as what my friends and I love to call this special day instead of the usual "Birthday". This year's "hatch day" has been more significiant than the usual "hatchday" as its a "first" in many way..

The First...

-"hatchday" that "The One" and I are celebrating physically together..In the past we can only call, send cards, send presents online

-"hatchday" that I'm spending without my friends and family in the last 10 years

-"Canada Atumn hatchday"..trees balding, cold wind blowing..Red Maple Leafs!

- "white" eggs that I'm having with my birthday noodles (usually at home we have red dyes to make it red, for good luck as the chinese believe)

Other than having all those first, there are the heartwarming moments:

Phone calls, ecards, cards, smses from family and friends in Singapore (they all make that effort to call at different time of the day! nice to get well wishes all day round..:))

Got a surprise from my group of close girlfriends who send me a bouquet of beautiful roses and carnations with baby breathes and a tea cup with saucer for my "hi-tea"...(yeah I miss the times when we used to do that back home..)

Thank you all for making that effort to keep in touch, for remembering my 'hatchday', just goes to show how much all of you care and love me alot..distance doesn't stop any of us from showing our love for each other. Every moment is precious and priceless for me, for I know one day when I grow old, I can tell my little ones how fortunate one is to love and be loved...and of course to "The One", you said something very sweet when we are at the supermarket that night "No gorceries shopping tonight, it is YOUR birthday!" Thank you for making the effort to try and make my day special in your own little ways.

Cheerios and Keep smiling!
With Love from PoohBear

Tips on how to keep a relationship/marriage happy:
Every little things you do count. Its not the quantity or monetary value of the gift that put a smile on your loved ones faces. Even if its just an e-mail or an e-card, its really takes minimal money but alot of quality thoughts to brighten up the day of someone you love.

Cook hard at brewing, do not disturb

Cooking has never been my best talent, but it's one that I do honestly enjoy and love when I whipped up something tasty! Some people "eat to live" while some other "live to eat", I do hope that I'll be the ones that "live to eat"..yummmy...

Since beginning to be a housewife, I have been spending time looking for receipe (Hello "The One", see I'm 'working hard' at home too!), trying out new dishes that I never done before. It is indeed quite a task! Once "The One" goes to work, I'll have to start planning. I'll look in the fridge, think of the ingredients I have and start to formulate what and how I can transform them into something "The One" (and me too, of course) will enjoy together when he comes home from work :)

Seeing his face lit up and giving me that "yummm..." look when he tasted the dishes, always give me a sense of satisfaction! ;) (yup yup I simply love to know that someone enjoys my hours of "hard work" searching for receipe, preparing and cooking). One day, when "The One" told me that his cafeteria lady commented that 'wow..your lunch looks nice, your wife must be a good cook'..wahhh, biggy boost to my ego huh! hahaha

OK, I'm off looking for another recipe for tonight's dinner..something that I hope will bring a BIG smile on "The One" face..;)

Cheerio and Keep smiling!
With Love From PoohBear

Tips on how to keep a relationship/marriage happy:
At the end of a day of hard work, be it for those who has to go out to work or for those who stay home to 'work', show a little thoughtfulness, appreciation and acknowledge the fact that your partner has put in the effort to provide for you (finiancially or emotionally) does goes a long way.

Sunday, November 05, 2006

An Email from Mom...

Mom recently sent me an email...

Subject: Mean Mums

Someday when my children are old enough to understand the logic that motivates a parent, I will tell them, as my Mean Mom told me: I loved you enough . . . to ask where you were going, with whom, and what time you would be home.

I loved you enough to be silent and let you discover that your new best friend was a creep.

I loved you enough to stand over you for two hours while you cleaned your room, a job that should have taken 15 minutes.

I loved you enough to let you see anger, disappointment, and tears in my eyes. Children must learn that their parents aren't perfect.

I loved you enough to let you assume the responsibility for your actions even when the penalties were so harsh they almost broke my heart.

But most of all, I loved you enough . . . to say NO when I knew you would hate me for it

Those were the most difficult battles of all. I'm glad I won them, because in the end you won, too.

And someday when your children are old enough to understand the logic that motivates parents, you will tell them.

Was your Mom mean? I know mine was. We had the meanest mother in the whole world! While other kids ate candy for breakfast, we had to have cereal, eggs, and toast.

When others had a Pepsi and a Twinkie for lunch, we had to eat sandwiches.

And you can guess our mother fixed us a dinner that was different from what other kids had, too.

Mother insisted on knowing where we were at all times. You'd think we were convicts in a prison. She had to know who our friends were, and what we were doing with them. She insisted that if we said we would be gone for an hour, we would be gone for an hour or less.

We were ashamed to admit it, but she had the nerve to break the Child Labour Laws by asking us to work. We had to wash the dishes, make the beds, learn to cook, vacuum the floor, do laundry, empty the trash and all sorts of cruel jobs. I think she would lie awake at night thinking of more things for us to do.

She always insisted on us telling the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth. By the time we were teenagers, she could read our minds and had eyes in the back of her head. Then, life was really tough!

Mother wouldn't let our friends just honk the horn when they drove up. They had to come up to the door so she could meet them. While everyone else could date when they were 12 or 13, we had to wait until we were 16.

Because of our mother we missed out on lots of things other kids experienced. None of us have ever been caught shoplifting, vandalising other's property or ever arrested for any crime. It was all her fault.

Now that we have left home, we are all educated, honest adults. We are doing our best to be mean parents just like Mom was.

I think that is what's wrong with the world today. It just doesn't have enough mean moms!

Cheerios and keep smiling!
With Love From PoohBear

Tips for maintaining a happy relationship/marriage:
Being a 'good' wife or husband to your other half is sometimes pretty similiar to being 'mean mums'. Sometimes you have to do things knowing they'll hate you for it but that's because you love them. Show them lots of love, patience, understanding and the belief that what you do for them begin with the right mindset that is, you set out with the mindset that you love them and want the best for them..

Being a 'good' other half is i suppose, the 2nd toughest job to being a mean mom!! ;)

Saturday, November 04, 2006

Dr. Phil

Since coming to Canada, I've been able to watch alot of talk shows. Among the various talk shows here, two of my favs are "Dr. Phil" and "Oprah Winfrey". "Dr. Phil" always has interesting topics of real life stories of families, marriage, social issues..and infact, after every show, I always walked away gaining alot more knowledge about life..

I wish that back home in Singapore, there will be more of such shows..they are informative, reflective and the fact that these people (Dr. Phil and Oprah) have both used their fame to give back to the society and do good for the people who really need them.

Was reading Dr. Phil's website where there was one section on "marriage", when one of the points he brought up "Falling in love and being in love is different", "falling in love is only the first stage of love"..hmm..Food for tots..

I suppose for most people, the starting pt of a relationship is to "fall in love" first and then "be in love". Ever tot if people will "be in love" first before they "fall in love"? such as those in arranged marriages? They make a committment to "be in love" with each other..before slowly "falling in love" with each other..make sense? Is "falling in love and being in love different"? yes i think so, and is "falling in love is only the first stage of love"? I make a pt, what do u think?

"Dr. Phil" website is really informative and I hope to share with you guys out there "newly weds, married-for-decades, thinking-of-marriage", do have a read, Knowledge is Power. However, like any other things, putting theories into practice is never easy....

Cheerios and keep smiling!
With Love from Poohbear

Tips for maintaining a happy relationship/marriage:
It takes alot of time, tender loving care to nuture a relationship...Just like growing a lovely garden; but once you get there, enjoy the beauty that you and your special one hv worked so hard for..

P/S: I've put up links to Dr. Phil web by the side..Enjoy!

Wednesday, November 01, 2006

Those 4 little letters...

North, South, East, West (NSEW) these 4 little letters..ARGHHH...those who know me know definitely for sure I'm one with no sense of direction hahaha. Even my girlfriends who drive alway teased me with "if you tell me to turn left, i better turn right, if you tell me to turn right, i better turn left" hahaha

"The One" was trying to teach me the way Canada road system runs..he always praises them for having a very SIMPLE NSEW system..and duh, ure talking to someone with no sense of NSEW here man..

One day, I came up with a SIMPLE WORD direction for "The One" we drank our coffee, I just tell "The One", "OK, next time you want me to go to whichever bus stop just tell me, "bus stop in front of xxx or opposite of xxx or next to xxx, forget about telling me N,S,E,W of where and where yeah? "The One" looked up at me, silent for a while, said "OK" and continued with his coffee questions asked. :)

I guess "The One" knew that those 4 little letters does drive me crazy and frustrated (i'm sure its not just me alone..) when i cant understand where he wants me to be and by taking the effort to make a little change (him saying more words-directional sentence to me) makes life a little easier and less frustrating for both of us.

Cheerios and keep smiling!
With Love from PoohBear

Tips for maintaining a happy relationship/marriage:
Making a little change might be inconvenient for one party, however, with a little understanding, it does makes life a lot better; esp if it makes understanding what each other wants easier, isnt it?